Tie Dyed Introductions
by Gratiae
Summary: After seven months of begging, the team finally gets to meet Dr. Reid's girlfriend. If only it were anywhere but where they were. One-Shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.**

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"_Friends can be said to 'fall in like' with as profound a thud as romantic partners fall in love." – Letty Cottin Pogrebin_

o o o o

31 March, 2009

Calliope Sellers sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs in the hospital waiting room, leaning back and closing her eyes against the tears she knew she wouldn't be able to contain for much longer. She was just glad that the nurses had wheeled her boyfriend, Dr. Spencer Reid, out of the hospital room for tests and all sorts of things she had no chance of understanding before she started producing more water and noise than Niagara Falls. Taking a shaking breath, she opened her eyes again and looked around the waiting room. Besides a graying man who looked older than her grandfather, no one else sat waiting.

The graying man looked desperately miserable and desolate and Calliope's heart broke for him. She wanted to go over and sit with him, but her head was too preoccupied with her own heartbreak, her own pain. Spencer looked so small lying in the hospital bed and the small, black lesion on his hand scared the living daylights out of her, but it was the picture of how large it had been that scared her even worse. Dr. Kimura turned it over as soon as she realized the file was lying open on the laminate pine dresser a few feet from Spencer's bed and Calliope had seen it.

But Calliope had still seen it and she couldn't get the image out of her head.

Flipped her phone open, she sent off a quick text to her grandfather asking what caused black lesions. Spencer had skillfully evaded the few questions she asked about what had happened before the nurses came in to take him. The doctor went with Spencer and the nurses and the African American man who had been in the room when she hurricaned in simply disappeared. She wanted answers and her grandfather could give them to her.

'_Melanoma, pigmented basal cell carcinoma, anthrax, viral infections like herpes, AIDs, among other causes… Why? Are you okay, Peanut? Call me.'_

Shooting off a response that she was fine, lying by saying that she just wondered because of a television show, she mentally shifted through the possible causes her grandfather had listed. Melanoma couldn't be it – Spencer would have told her if he had skin cancer. 'Pigmented basal cell carcinoma' meant absolutely nothing to her. The term might as well be in Greek for all that it meant to her. It couldn't be herpes; Spencer told her he'd never, well… _you know_… Okay… was she seriously so immature that she couldn't even _think_ the phrase 'had sex'? She was twenty-six years old. She should be able to at least _think_ 'had sex' by now without hemming and hawing like a giggly preteen. Anyways, it couldn't be herpes. It could be AIDs. Arthur Ashe, the tennis player Aunt Ashley adored, had died from AIDs he contracted through a blood transfusion. But she would have noticed AIDs, wouldn't she? They'd gone swimming before. She'd seen him without a shirt and he hadn't had any of those lesions Tom Hanks had in _Philadelphia_.

That left anthrax…

No. No, no, no, no, no! Spencer could not have anthrax. Contract anthrax, come in contact with anthrax… however she was supposed to say it. He couldn't. No. Anthrax was not possible. No, no, no. It must be whatever that basil thing was. Her String Bean couldn't have… but he could. She knew he could. That's what his job was about: dealing with all sorts of stuff he could never tell her. And that terrified her.

Could she really handle this? Could she really handle the waiting by the phone for some stranger to call her and tell her that her Spencer was fighting for his life because he'd been fighting to protect hers, fighting for protect people he didn't know? Could she really handle the next time she rushed into a hospital room, knowing he could never tell her what exactly had put him there?

On the other hand, could she handle not rushing into the hospital room the next time he was there? Could she handle finding out in some newspaper that FBI SSA Dr. Spencer Reid had been shot by a homicidal something or other and the memorial service would be two days from then? No, next time he lay in a hospital bed because of something no one could explain to her, Calliope would be sitting in the waiting room chewing her fingernails until she'd chewed so far back she drew blood just like she was doing now.

Anthrax. Oh God. Spencer had to be okay. They wouldn't have him in a regular room if he weren't going to be okay, would they? He'd be in one of those scary solitary confinement rooms. Anthrax. Were there any lasting side effects of being exposed to anthrax? Would he be all right in seven years or would he suffer some obscure something like liver damage or gall bladder spotting? What was a gall bladder anyways? Was it like an appendix and just some superfluous organ that God stuck in there for fun? What did it do? Why was she thinking about gall bladders when Spencer was undergoing whatever tests he was undergoing? She really needed to find some coffee. Coffee would control her paranoid, crazed-question-wondering brain for a while. Or at least channel it into something semi-productive.

She started when a man cleared his throat close to her and she looked up to see, quite possibly, the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen in her life. Besides her very handsome Spencer, of course. This man should model. This was the man in so many of the few pictures around Spencer's apartment. What was his name? Oh no. She knew this. She knew his name.

"Hey there, kid. I hear you like coffee. I got you a cup. I didn't know what you liked, so I just got a regular latte." Derek Morgan smiled the most reassuring, charming smile he possessed and handed her one of the steaming white-cardboard Starbucks cups in his hands.

"My hero," she said gratefully and took a long sip of the steaming liquid. "You should really think about wearing a shiny suit of armor when you do that. I was just thinking I needed to go on a quest for coffee."

"I'll give some serious consideration to that," Derek laughed. "And the next time you decide to go on a quest, give me a call and I'll saddle up Rocinante and we'll come with you."

"Rocinante? You've read _Don Quixote_? Man! No one has ever referenced _Don Quixote _so nonchalantly like that! They always go for the windmills. Very nice. Very nice," Calliope grinned and gave the agent another once-over.

"Yeah. I, uh, I read it in high school. I thought I was picking up a knight of the round table sort of book and, by the time I realized the knight was crazy and fought windmills before he fought monsters, I was too engrossed to put it down. I can't believe you got the reference. No one ever has before. Besides, Reid, I mean. You're sure you're not a super genius too?"

"I'd pay you big money to ask me that question in front of Mrs. Gillman, my high school physics teacher," she gasped out laughing. "She didn't think I could tie my shoes by myself. No. Most definitely not a super genius. I possess average intelligence. Hopefully. I might be a little below average after I add in all the coffee I drink. I think it's retarded my brain a little. Grandpa just has a fondness for classics and reading them aloud. I'm sorry. I know I saw you earlier and I know Spencer's talked about you and I've seen your picture, like, a million times, but my brain's running so fast – or so slow, I'm not sure which – I can't remember your name."

"Derek. Derek Morgan," he told her, sitting in a chair across from her.

"That's right. I even called you by your name in his room, didn't I? Agent Morgan. God, I'm a forgetful idiot. Spencer talks about you all the time."

"All good, I hope," he chuckled, sipping his own coffee.

"Mostly," she joked, throwing him a smile and Derek laughed. "Have they told you anything about the tests they're running? They won't tell me because I'm… well, you know how hospitals work."

"So far, so good. They say he's going to be perfectly fine when he gets released. Spencer's tough. He'll be alright," He watched as she visibly relaxed when she heard the young doctor would be ok. Derek couldn't help but wonder about the two of them. He'd never seen any two people so completely opposite.

Spencer was shy and relatively quiet, reserved, around people he didn't know, but this woman… she simply exploded into the hospital like a rodeo bull struck with an electric cattle prod, loudly demanding to know where her boyfriend was. Based on that and the colourful, eclectic way she dressed, Derek could tell she had no problem drawing attention to herself, whereas Spencer did almost everything he could to make sure he would never unintentionally draw a person's gaze. Despite how different the two were, something just seemed unnervingly right about the two of them when he'd seen them together in the hospital room and Derek liked her.

"You look exhausted," he told her.

"I haven't slept properly since Saturday. It's Tuesday now."

"You don't do well when he's on a case, do you?"

"No, I'm alright when your team is on a case. But I know when the team is on a case. He calls me at night. Sends texts. Let's me know he's okay. This time, he just flat out disappeared. I've been worried."

Derek nodded understanding and was unsure what to say, how to make conversation. They sat in the hard plastic chairs worrying about the same person, but, even with everything his friend told him about her, Calliope Sellers was a complete stranger to him. When he looked up at her next, he was surprised to see her with her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking, her long red curls spilling over her shoulders and hiding her freckled face.

Moving to sit next to her, Derek slipped an arm around Calliope's shoulders and just gave her something to hold onto while she cried. "Reid's going to be ok, Ms. Sellers. The doctors said he's going to be completely fine in a few days. He'll be back to you in no time."

"I was so scared," she confessed, hiccupping as she tried to talk through her tears. "Spencer never ignores my calls. That sounds so selfish, but it's true. If he can't answer, he sends a quick text, but he never outright ignores them. I knew something was wrong, but there was nothing I could do to find out what had happened. It was terrifying."

Derek grabbed the box of scratchy hospital tissues sitting on the table in front of them and held it as she tugged a few out, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes.

"I know, Ms. Sellers. I understand," Derek eased the used tissues from her hand and dropped them in the trash.

"Ms. Sellers is my mammy, not me," Calliope sniffed, giving a weak attempt at humor.

"How about Cal then?" Derek smiled, "Calliope's a bit of a mouthful."

"I've been called worse," she returned his smiled and took another tissue. "Cal it is. I assume Derek is okay?"

"Derek's fine. You feeling a little better?" He asked, pulling his arm from around her shoulders.

"Yes, thank you. Sorry, I blubbered all over you."

"No big. I understand; honestly, I do. I've been freaking out too, but if you tell Reid that I'll deny it."

"Secret's safe with me," she said, offering her pinkie. Laughing, Derek linked his pinkie with hers and they sealed the promise, grinning like idiots.

"I've known Reid since Gideon recruited him from Cal Tech when he was twenty-two. That's going on six years now. Five since he officially joined the team. You've been good for him."

"No," Calliope shook her head, smiling at him, "Spencer's been good for me. He talks about your team a lot. You're like his family. For a week or two, I actually thought you were his brother. Straightening that out was one confusing conversation. I had to make a chart and everything."

"He is my brother. Don't you see the resemblance?" Derek joked.

Calliope giggled and took a sip of her coffee. "I don't know how I missed it."

"So... You have a chart?"

"Yes. I do. It's colour-coded _and_ has glitter."

"Impressive."

"I thought so myself. Let's see… You have two sisters: Sarah and Desiree. They, with your mom, live in Chicago. Aaron Hotchner is team leader. He and his ex-wife Haley have a three-year-old named Jack, who is completely adorable. I saw pictures. So cute. David Rossi came back after… ten years? Yeah, ten years. And he has three ex-wives. I tried to read some of his books, but I couldn't. I don't have a tough enough mentality to get in the minds of bad guys. Creeped me out. Emily Prentiss is an only child and her mother's a US Ambassador.

"Jennifer Jareau , a.k.a. J.J., has a baby boy Henry, Spencer's godson, and a half-boyfriend-half-fiancée named Will La-something. And Penelope García, who is apparently now named Petunia or Peony. I can't believe I forgot her name. She has four brothers and lost both her parents in a car crash and got a job at the FBI because she hacked into their database. And she's Henry's godmother. And she has amazing clothes. And Jason Gideon, no longer part of the team, has a son named Steven and is pretty much like Spencer's pseudo-dad. They talk at least once a month."

"Reid and Gideon talk?" Derek looked at her in surprise.

"Yeah… of course they… and you didn't know that. Crap…" Calliope smacked herself in the forehead before turning back to him with horrified, pleading eyes. "Please don't say anything. I didn't know it was a secret."

"We'll go for a two-fer. You keep my secret and I'll keep yours." Derek teased, sticking out his pinkie in the same way she had before.

"You're so my new best friend," she giggled again, linking her pinkie with his. "Coffee and pinkie promises. Mash grapes with me and help me pick a fight with a fellow grape masher and you'll have me for life."

"Oh, them's fighting words, Lucy. Fred belongs to me."

Derek and Calliope looked up at the new voice to see a plump blonde smiling at them, shrugging an oversized bag off her shoulder and into the chair before walking over to the other two.

"Cal, meet Petunia García. Petunia, meet Reid's girlfriend, Calliope Sellers." Derek made the introduction and Calliope dissolved into giggles, leaving Penelope looking from one of them to the other, utterly bewildered.

"I-I'm sorry," Calliope gasped as she clutched the stitch in her side and looked up at the very familiar looking blonde. "I know your name's Penelope. I accidently called you Petunia because I was frazzled and yelling at Spencer in the hospital room when I finally found him. Not that I yell at Spencer often! I mean, I – I'm going to shut up now."

Penelope and Derek both began laughing and Calliope hung her head, mortified.

"Don't worry, I already love you," Penelope smiled when she'd finally controlled her laughter and began pulling out her knitting.

"Really?"

"Really. Wonder Boy talks about you all the time."

"Oh dear."

"How is Wonder Boy anyway? What'd the doctors say, Angel?"

"We'll have Boy Genius back annoying us in the office in no time, Gorgeous."

"Good. I've finally gotten used to him. No sense in getting rid of him now. I'd be completely confused with no one there confusing me."

"Spencer was right," Calliope sighed, shaking her head.

"About what?"

"About how much I'd love you guys. He said you and I were cut from the same mold," she nodded at Penelope.

"He said the same thing to me!" Penelope grinned. "You know your birthday present?"

"Of course I know my birthday present."

"Well… like a week before your birthday he came into my office freaking out. Completely, full-out loosing it. I'd never seen him do that before. It was hysterical once I'd established that no one had died. It took me a quarter of an hour to get him to coherently tell me what was wrong. He kept starting sentences and then not finishing them or finishing them with the end of another sentence. His brain was moving so much faster than his mouth it was ridiculous. Anyways. Finally, he spit it out – he couldn't find a gift for you. So we went shopping together and he had me pick out stuff I would like and then he picked out something with the same concept but less bulky. It was so much fun."

"Did you help pick my Christmas present?"

"Am I getting Genius Boy in trouble?"

"No! I loved both of them! Make sure you always go with him! I love your jacket too. Where'd you get it?"

"This little vintage resale shop in D.C. I'll take you there if you take me where you got your left shoe. The right shoe's okay, but the left is adorable!"

"Thanks! It's one of my favourites. It's an adorable little shop in Woodbridge. I don't remember where I got the right shoe. In fact, I don't remember getting it at all. I don't think it's mine. Where did you come from?"

"Coming summer two thousand nine – The Boxcar Children and the Mystery of the Phantom Shoe. I can't wait to read it," Penelope teased. "Where'd you get your skirt? I love it."

"I made it. You want one? If you come over, I can measure you and make one for you."

"You _made_ this?" Penelope asked in disbelief as she pulled Calliope's skirt towards her and looked closer.

"Yeah. It was really simple. It's only white muslin. I cut the muslin into strips, tie-dyed each strip, let that dry. Painted on the strips, let them dry again and then sewed the whole thing together. And, of course, a tie-dyed sheath underneath so you don't give everyone a show. At first the sheath was just plain white, but it looked really funny under the colour, so I ripped the sheath out and tie-dyed it and put it back. You want one?"

"Yes!"

"God… this can't be good…" Derek groaned and rolled his eyes at them.

"Shut up, Fred!" They snarked at him simultaneously before looking at each other and laughed so hard that nurses stopped to stare at them in bewilderment.

"Ethel, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Calliope laughed, leaning over to hug her.

"Lucy, I think you're right," Penelope wiped laughter-tears from her eyes, trying not to smudge her eyeliner as she did so. "Come here. I have a comb. Let me fix your hair. You look like you feel out of a tree."

"Jeeze… Friends less than an hour and I get my first… I don't know what to call that. Friendly insult? I think it's a new record. I better call Eli and Isaac and tell them I no longer need their services."

"Who are Eli and Isaac?" Penelope started brushing out Calliope's mass of matted curls as soon as the redhead had sat on the floor in front of the blonde.

"Two of my cousins. They've made it their mission in life to make sure I have the lowest amount of self-esteem possible without being suicidal," she giggled. "I'm the youngest of seven cousins so I get teased the most. Don't worry. They get as well as they give."

"You only have one earring in, Cal."

"Eh. It matches my two different shoes," she shrugged ruefully at Derek.

"You must have left in some kind of hurry."

"And you wouldn't have?"

"Henry!" Penelope squealed in delight and got up, pushing past Calliope leaving the brush tangled in her hair.

"Ow! Ethel!" She winced as she pulled the brush out, watched Penelope snatch baby Henry right out of another blonde's hands and scanned the new horde of familiar faces that had entered the waiting room.

"Cal, this is the team. Team, this is the elusive Calliope Sellers." Derek rolled his eyes and made introductions for the second time that hour as Calliope pushed herself up off the floor, straightening her skirt and lifting a hand to her still disastrous hair. "Right to left – Jennifer Jareau or J.J., Dave Rossi, Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss. And that's Jack Hotchner and García commandeered Henry LaMontagne."

"Elusive?" Calliope raised her eyebrow in confusion.

"Spence wouldn't let us meet you because he thought we'd try to embarrass him and tell you all sorts of horrible stories about him," J.J. smiled as she stepped forward and hugged her best friend's girlfriend.

"Really? Oh thank God. I thought it was because of me!"

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**A/N:**

**Well... you never actually see how Calliope mets the rest of the team in _Mystery Muse_, so I thought it'd be fun to see how it happens. And here it is! I hope you liked it!**

**Obviously, this takes place in the hospital after Episode 4x24 - "Amplification" written by Oanh Ly and directed by John E. Gallagher. Well, at least, I think it's obvious, but "Amplification" is one of my favourite Criminal Minds episodes EVER. Love it. And you already know if you follow _Mystery Muse_ because it's in chapter four... you just don't actually see Calliope meeting the team.**

**ANYWHO! I've had too much Diet Coke today. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I need to go detox from caffeine...**

**Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it and tell me what you think, good or bad!**

**Love, Thalia**


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